So my last post was about the visit to the progressive doctor. I felt I had more musing to do about it, so here goes...
When I went to the clinic I think I had reached the perfect time to go. Any sooner and I might have thrown a file at the doc's head. Basically, part of being an IC patient is going through the stages of grief- loss of your former life and health. What you love is snatched from you. It's pretty easy to feel like a victim.
You don't deserve to feel this way. No one understands. There are no answers.
I went through all of those feelings. Got angry, sad, frustrated, threw stuff at the wall, sobbed for no apparent reason- all of it.
And then I decided to try something different. Medication helped me get to this point of feeling like I could handle life, but I really don't want medication forever. (Not to mention the cost of Elmiron will keep us in poverty forever if I always take it.) I got a taste of healing with Physical Therapy, and I realized there was a lot more to alternative treatments than many doctors will admit.
So before I went to my consultation I researched the crap out of the diet I knew he favored. I was mostly vegan until a week ago, when his suggestion was to follow a Paleo lifestyle. This was a HUGE change, but one I was willing to try... because he has helped IC patients... he has gotten them off medication and back to life. I want that. And I am willing to do what it takes. It wasn't a flip decision, but one backed by research, and well, a doctor's recommendation.
I didn't take eating meat lightly, but I did weigh the pros and cons, and I decided I would rather try this, than always wonder if it would have worked. I'm not just slapping bacon on a plate- I am eating extremely high quality protein, and I'm paying dearly for it because I want the humane aspect intact as well.
It's so easy to judge at this point- if you are passionate about animal welfare... and especially if you haven't ever experienced the pain of a chronic condition. I am trying to change my life... trying to get my health back. I really don't think you can put a price or cost on that... and if it doesn't work- at least I will KNOW.
In addition to the adding of meat to my dietary requirements, he also discussed the ambiguity of the symptoms of IC and VVS. I think the average IC patient would have stalked out of his office. I know a year ago I would have set my jaw & been done with him. I'm in a place where I could listen, objectively, and I agree with what he is saying. IC isn't specifically a disease, but rather symptoms. Symptoms that tell us my body has broken down and needs to heal. The pain is real. The symptoms are real. But my bladder may not be as broken as I always assumed it was... and with time, we will see.
I remain hopeful, because if this works.... there is hope for you, too!